100707 Let’s Talk Choices 3
Choosing Your Friends
Tim Franklin
Introduction:
· The first week we looked at the power of choice. We learned that the opportunity to choose gives us lots of freedom (which requires responsibility), and it also empowers us to become what God desires of us.
· Last week we looked at the importance of choosing wisely and how to make wise choices.
· Tonight’s discussion is all about friends, friendship, and choosing friends.
· All of us enjoy friendships, desire to be a friend, and we know the pain of friendships. The goal of tonight is three fold: Define what a friend is. Decide how to choose a friend. Discover answers to tough questions regarding friend ship.
· Let me start by saying this about Jesus. Jesus had circles of friends. Not everyone can be your friend and some people you do not want to have as friends. Yet we have to know how to treat them.
1. What is a Friend?
A. Who is your best friend in the whole wide world? Why?
B. Who were two friends of God found in scripture? Why were they called friends?
i. Ex 33:11 Moses—Spoke face to face with God as a man speaks to a friend. (They shared the secrets of their hearts with each other)
ii. Is. 41:8; James 2:23 Abraham—trusted God, obeyed God (walked in righteousness/made wise choices).
iii. Enoch—walked with God. Gen 5:22,24. Noah also walked with God. To walk with implies all aspects of life.
a. Proverbs 23:17-18 Do not let your heart envy sinners, But be zealous for the fear of the Lord all the day; 18 For surely there is a hereafter, And your hope will not be cut off. NKJV
iv.
v. Eleven disciples John 15:14-15 You are my friends. Judas Iscariot was not in that group.
C. Who were four close friends found in the OT? Clue most people think of just three. Read the following scriptures and discuss the qualities of a friend found in them.
i. Dan 1:7,11,19—Daniel spoke for his friends when they were afraid to ask for un-defiling food.
ii. Dan 2:13 Daniel and his friend were going to be killed.
iii. Dan 2:16-18 –Daniel went to his friends in time of need and asked for prayer to understand the kings dream.
iv. Dan 2:46-49—Daniel remembered his friends when he was promoted.
2. How do I choose friends?
A. What is the difference between someone who is your best friend and an acquaintance? What is the difference between an acquaintance and a stranger?
i. Recognize the different levels of relationships: stranger, acquaintance, and friend.
a. A stranger gets to get to the front door. Often by appointment only.
b. An acquaintance get to come in and play/talk. Often by invitation.
c. A Friend gets to come and eat at your table or spend the night. Has a key.
ii. How does this person ‘fit’ into my life. How many kids have heard a parent say to you, “Don’t talk to strangers.”
iii. So one of first ways of choosing a friend is to determine who they are to you.
B. What are the qualities of a true friend?
i. Are they Christian? 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? NKJV
a. Why does it matter if they are or are not Christian?
b. Can I be friends with someone who is not a Christian? How does that affect my relationship with them?
ii. Friends will not lead us into evil. Read 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits." NKJV What does it mean that bad company corrupts good character? If bad company corrupts good habits what does good company do?
iii. Friends make challenge us to be more than we are. Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. NKJV
iv. Friends bring out the best in us. Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, NKJV
v. Friends consider the heart of their friends. 1 Sam 16:7. God looks at the heart.
a. Why does it hurt our hearts more when someone we love breaks it?
b. They are closer to our heart than a stranger. We trust them more.
3. Questions Concerning Friends
A. How does God desire us to handle conflicts in our friendships?
i. Guard our own hearts that we do not become angry or bitter. Pro. 4:23
ii. Go to your friend and seek to reconcile your relationship. Mt 5:23-24
iii. Choose to forgive and not become bitter. Heb 12:14-15
iv. Live 1 Cor 13 love chapter. See also Jn 13:35
B. Does the way you treat someone change based on their friendship level?
i. No the Bible teaches us that we are to treat others in the way that we want to be treated. Mt 7:12.
ii. Love your enemies. Mt 5:43-45 Love, bless, do good to, and pray for those who hate us.
C. Based on what you learned tonight, what things will you change in choosing your friends? Things you can do to be a better friend?
Conclusion:
· Friends are important in life. We need friends.
· Who we choose to be our friends affects our lives greatly. Friends will push you up to a higher place in God and life or they will pull you down.
· The Bible gives us many things to look at while choosing friends. That opportunity to choose empower us to surround ourselves with others of like heart and mind who have the same values.
For Future Discussion:
What do I do when a friend gossips about me?
How do I grow and gain friendships?
What do my parents think of my friends?
How do I confront and keep a friend?
Why won’t people be my friend?
When and how do I leave a friendship?
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