Here I Am - Part 3
090524 Here I Am – A Response to a Rare Word
Part 3
1 Sam 1:24-28;2:11
Tim Franklin
Introduction:
· Review
o Quick Lessons
o Hard Questions
§ In presenting your children to God, what do you have to do to make them the best they can be when presented?
§ How do you prepare your child to not come home with you?
o Going Deeper—we looked at Hannah’s life to glean lessons. Prayer, worship, consistent, and full of faith.
o Intentional in
§ How we live
§ What we instruct
§ How we oversee
· In part 3 today, I want to go deeper with that second question.
· Hannah made a vow to God that if He gave her a male child she would give him back to God. Faced with that fact, Hannah now has the challenge of instilling in this child, Samuel, the character traits that he will need in order to be God’s minister. She had to be intentional!
· How do you prepare a child to not come home with you? Remember the big picture goal is to raise a child that knows the word of God and considers that word precious.
1 Ignorance is Not Bliss Don’t Play Dumb
A In parenting, like Marriage, most people do not adequately prepare for it. Kelly went wild with reading when we found out we were pregnant. She put books all over the house, so that I was without excuse. It almost became like Bible. She talked about it when we woke up and when we laid down, when we walked, etc etc.
B Most people go into parenting only knowing what their parents did. And most of those would like to change many of the things they did.
i Many bring the wrong parenting tools into the marriage. You were just taught wrong. So you have to spend time undoing things.
ii Many parents bring their own unresolved issues into their parenting and that produces a whole new set of issues.
a Separation anxiety. Some parents are so fearful of leaving their children, they paralyze all relationship around them. Thinking they are loving their children when they are actually making them fearful(from parents fear) or rebellious (from a parents control).
b Worry- am I to strict? Too lenient? Am I spoiling? Etc.
c Controllers, Paul Coughlin calls them “helicopter parents” because they constantly hover and boy do they know how to attack.
C We have no experience at it.
i We Learn by doing
ii We are motivated by love. We want the best for our child.
iii We just do not often know how to sincerely or genuinely express that love. IE. Most parents don’t begin to question their parenting until serious problems occur. After all, we do not go monthly or quarterly for mental wellness checkups with our children like we do for their physical well being.
D All to often the physical and financial stress and strain of taking care of our children causes the goal of satisfying their emotional needs to drop further and further down the priority list. When you add to that our ignorance of parenting and our own unmet emotional needs it appears as a toxic drink of disaster.
E “Studies show that children today are more anxious, timid, and over-protected than those in past generations. Raising assertive and confident children is still possible in today's world.” No More Jellyfish, Chickens or Wimps: Raising Secure, Assertive Kids in a Tough World (Hardcover) by Paul Coughlin (Author)
2 They Must Know You
A Our children’s clearest concept of God will come from how they see us. I like what Jesus had to say about this.
i John 14:9 He who has seen Me has seen the Father; NKJV Jesus was fully man and fully God in character and therefore was the disciples picture as to what God looked like…in caparisoned to the Pharisees.
a Children of abusive parents have a hard time relating to a loving God.
b Adults still have a hard time relating to a loving God because of mistake their parents made while they were children.
ii The parent-child relationship exists to teach us about our relationship with God. We learn unconditional love and compassion from our parents. Humans have a much longer time maturing with parents so that we grow in our dependence upon God.
iii How we relate to them establishes quickly how they will be equipped to relate to God.
B Be Intimate- Webster - Close in friendship or acquaintance; intimacy, n. [from intimate.] Close familiarity or fellowship; nearness in friendship.
i Most parents assume they are raising their children well because they provide their children with adequate food, shelter, clothing, and education. They do nice things for their children and take care of other (non-emotional) more functional aspects of life. However, they are often unaware that providing these things don't necessarily contribute to a child's emotional security. Just because a child is born into a so-called normal home, where he/she is adequately provided for and attended to, it doesn't mean that the child is happy, responsive or secure.
ii Emotionally secure children and emotionally available relationships help children to become emotionally strong/intelligent in their lives.
iii Strategies for building intimacy
a Identify strategies for connecting with your child.
b Assess the strengths and weaknesses in your current parent-child relationship.
c Develop new ways of creating stronger, more nourishing emotional bonds with children of any age.
d Build emotional “safety nets” to help your children feel more secure in a scary world.
e Deal with behavior problems without creating emotional distance.
(1st) What nonverbal messages do children pick up when they listen to words that are said to them in rage?
(i) Rejection is the biggest.
(ii) They are not loved.
(iii)They are failures.
(iv)God is mad at them.
(2nd) Communicate in such a way as to win the heart.
f Help your child become emotionally aware of making friends.
g ‘Be there’ for your child, especially in times of stress (including divorce and the teen years.)
C Authority
i Children see their parents as authority figures. From a child's perspective, parents are like God. They are omnipotent and omniscient. They care for us, feed and clothe us. They protect us from harm.
a Parents please hear this: you are not your child’s friend. You are the parent!
b It is that relationship that established a right concept of God and God’s authority to them.
ii The child understands the concept of authority. He has had the experience of submitting to his parents' authority and abiding by their rules. He has felt helpless without them for a significant period of his life. He recognized they had power to protect him and create order in his life. The child is now ready to take this experience to a higher level.
iii Part of our role as parents is to transition our children from their initially immature concept of ‘God-like parents’ to a mature relationship with God Himself. To this end, God gives parents authority that is akin to His own. In fact, when children honor their parents it is considered as if they honored God Himself.
iv Authority establishes
a Boundaries-what is and is not permissible. This create security
b Strength-strength that comes not from physical power but God honored and respected positions of society. Grand parent, parent, police, teacher etc.
3 They Must Know God
A They have to know God verses knowing about God. There is a major difference. To many parents raise their children to know about God rather than to know God. Ie. Kelly has prepared a whole session for the children’s conference on Transitioning from Information to Impartation.
i Just because they can quote the scripture doesn’t mean they know how to use it.
ii They have to see you regularly relate to God. God has to be more than just a Sunday God. They must observe you relate to Him under all kinds of different circumstance and situations.
iii They have to see God regularly relate to you. Ie. I used to ask God to tell me about my boys day. They always looked astounded when I spoke of things they went through in any given day.
B They have to know that God can be trusted.
i They have to know the word of God because the word of God reveals the will of God.
ii Therefore how will they know what to trust him for if they do not know His will/word.
iii How will they learn that God supplies all of our needs if we are always supplying those needs.
C They must know that their life is not their own—it’s Gods..
i They have to see that their lives revolve around a bigger picture. That God has a plan for them.
a Gen 37:5 Now Joseph had a dream…
b Judg 13:6-7 Samson’s mom So the woman came and told her husband, saying,"A Man of God came to me, and His countenance was like the countenance of the Angel of God, very awesome; but I did not ask Him where He was from, and He did not tell me His name. 7 And He said to me, 'Behold, you shall conceive and bear a son. Now drink no wine or similar drink, nor eat anything unclean, for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb to the day of his death.'" NKJV
c Samuel in 1 Sam 1
d Jesus to Joseph and Mary Lk 2:34 The child is destined for the fall and rising of many….
ii To many parents raise their children thinking the whole world revolves around them.
iii We must find their destiny early on and hold that close to our hearts in prayer and faithfully lead them to God’s plan. And cause their lives to revolve around their destiny.
D If our children really know us and our heart toward them and if they really know God they will be secure children.
E Hannah lead Samuel to that place of security and when it was time for him to become God’s minister he was ready and willing. She gave him herself and she gave him her God.
i Mistered- Hebrew –sharath-falls into two natural categories: 1) of the personal service rendered to an important personage, usually a ruler, and 2) of the ministry of worship on the part of those who stand in a special relationship to God, such as the priests. (from Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament. Copyright © 1980 by The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago. All rights reserved. Used by permission.)
F Samuel was able to minister because Samuel was secure.
i Fear keeps us from hearing from God.
Conclusion:
· Secure-Webster-Free from danger of being taken by an enemy. Free from fear or apprehension of danger; not alarmed; not disturbed by fear; confident of safety; hence, careless of the means of defense. Men are often most in danger when they feel most secure.
· The emotional security of children plays a significant role in shaping their lives -- from their personality, confidence, success in future relationships, and mental health -- as they grow. It is widely accepted fact that children from loving and caring households go on to become well-adjusted adults, while children from abusive, broken, or neglectful homes often grow up to have serious emotional or even mental problems.
· One of the first things you learn in the Ministering Spiritual Gifts class is that fear keep people from hearing God. If we want to have children who hear God we have to raise them to be secure.
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